


an empty place within me

by nightforts



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin
Genre: Drabble, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-01
Updated: 2013-01-01
Packaged: 2017-11-23 13:53:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/622897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightforts/pseuds/nightforts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I am a creature of grief and dust and bitter longings. There is an empty place within me where my heart was once."</p><p>my love for this pairing in a drabble</p>
            </blockquote>





	an empty place within me

**Author's Note:**

> “I wonder if the snow loves the trees and fields, that it kisses them so gently? And then it covers them up snug, you know, with a white quilt; and perhaps it says "Go to sleep, darlings, **till the summer comes again**.”

It was a beginning. It felt like the end.

 

It was after she had accepted the situation that she started thinking it was meant to be that way. That The Seven had wished it so since they were the same, equals. She had her secrets and her sorrow and disappointment treasured inside her. His secrets took a human form. She knew she should not hate the boy, but she did. It was not the boy’s fault, it was Ned’s and she should not condemn him either when every day she wished his brother took his place. But she was the young spring bride of a cold land.

 

So she thought it right, oblivious to the fact that later she will find her secrets to be fading in comparison with his. What she learned first was that she could find it in her heart to care for him. It came along with their first son whom she loved above everything. And loving this piece of him is what it took. The boy had her hair but the spirit of the North. ‘ _Robb’_ whispered the wind, the child of rivers and the North.

 

She found the North to be more like home than she had thought. Inside the thick castle walls it was warm and inside great warriors was a warm heart. The North accepted her as their lady and she accepted them as her people. And soon she found comfort in her husband’s arms. She pushed all thoughts of what Jon Snow meant away. But they would come back and hurt her even more now that she loved him. His past was the one thing she was not a part of. _Harrenhal_ they whispered and she knew nothing of it, she had been kept away from the world, so many rivers away. _Ashara Dayne_ they spoke in confidence and it meant nothing to her. She felt blind in this labyrinth of his secrets. So she asked him. For ones Catelyn asked and he shut her away, told her not to. He was right, maybe it was not her place to ask, but it pained her not to know. He was _her_ Ned, but not entirely.

 

She took it out on the boy, poured all her bitterness in her relationship with him. _Snow,_ she hated that name. Ned didn’t do anything. He had no right to when he knew he had caused her pain and that was the reason of her actions. There was also so way to scold her without having to explain. Ghosts resided in Winterfell, the ghosts of his past. They prey apart and run the castle together. At night he holds her tight and she feels safe and happy. In their bedroom with hot water running through the walls there are no ghosts.

 

She remembers all this. She cannot speak, she cannot feel, but she remembers. He was the love of her life and she would never forget him, the scent of the forest in his hair and clothes _the scent of the North_ , the sparkle of joy in his gaze when he first held their children, the sound of her name on his lips. There is a cold empty place where he heart used to be and something else rests there now, _revenge_.

 

 


End file.
